In my experience as someone who has been in-house counsel and now outside counsel for a variety of tech startups and software development shops, and has watched this happen in the careers of a lot of people around me (usually while being the sole 'suit' in the room), the transition you are describing usually happens in the late twenties or early thirties.
It is basically the transition away from the last vestiges of a "school-like" mindset to a "career" mindset.
In the "school" mindset, your primary form of social rewards are from the people you spend your day with - when you are a kid, your friends are all at school, and even though you go to school to do schoolwork, it is still where you see your friends. In the "career" mindset, your primary social rewards are the people you spend your nights with - which are friends who you do not work with, and, importantly, your family.
In other words, as a young 20something, it is easy to still be in the mindset that the 'fun' time is when you go to the place you spend all day at and do so with a bunch of cool people. A lot of jobs, as a result, try to recreate that 'school' experience with a gym, scheduled fun activities, playtime, etc. Howev er, when you are in your late 20s, even if you don't necessarily have a family or are an introvert, the appeal of this lessens dramatically, as you naturally spend more effort trying to carve out time for your own interests - whether they be your family, your hobbies, or even just solitude and meditative peace. Accordingly, it is really just far less important that work have a bunch of perks that require that you actually be there, than for work be a professional environment that respects your time and is financially and intellectually rewarding enough to be "worth it."
damn that is exactly my situation! it happened a little earlier for me though; i'd say around 27-28. it accelerated after working for google that short bit I did
It is basically the transition away from the last vestiges of a "school-like" mindset to a "career" mindset.
In the "school" mindset, your primary form of social rewards are from the people you spend your day with - when you are a kid, your friends are all at school, and even though you go to school to do schoolwork, it is still where you see your friends. In the "career" mindset, your primary social rewards are the people you spend your nights with - which are friends who you do not work with, and, importantly, your family.
In other words, as a young 20something, it is easy to still be in the mindset that the 'fun' time is when you go to the place you spend all day at and do so with a bunch of cool people. A lot of jobs, as a result, try to recreate that 'school' experience with a gym, scheduled fun activities, playtime, etc. Howev er, when you are in your late 20s, even if you don't necessarily have a family or are an introvert, the appeal of this lessens dramatically, as you naturally spend more effort trying to carve out time for your own interests - whether they be your family, your hobbies, or even just solitude and meditative peace. Accordingly, it is really just far less important that work have a bunch of perks that require that you actually be there, than for work be a professional environment that respects your time and is financially and intellectually rewarding enough to be "worth it."