I can't for the life of me remember which of his books it was in but I remember him writing about having guests around and cooking with them, then eating. This was so different to my life where my Mum spent the time in the kitchen on her own, it just sounded far more convivial, a different way of living that I yearned for.

Does anyone remember which book and chapter it was in?

GTFA gives me this link on kitchens by Christoper Alexander:

https://www.thekitchn.com/christopher-ale-164084

Although this isn't what I was after