I agree, and if I were the one losing my job I'd prefer to hear the cold hard facts rather than artificial consolations from someone I've likely never met before.

The fact that those cold hard facts were disseminated via conference call, however, is not something that I find professional unless we are talking about the layoff of remote workers etc. - and even then I'd prefer a personal phone call.

After "you have no job," all they want to hear is dates, severance, and benefits. Anything else is just wasting everyone's time, because they are in their own heads and not listening.

This. What else was to be said? Really, what else could you say? "I'm sorry" Are you though? "You are a really talented worker" like that matters?

The relationship is a business one. Don't get confused. You are gone. You care about when, your shit on their computers, and money. Why spend a week laying people off when you can do it in two minutes? I have faith in the new management yet.

Why do professional and being nice have to be mutually exclusive ? Why do we have to be "coldly professional" and not "morally/humanly professional" ? No one is complaining about layoffs here. What is being complained about is the way companies are treating their employees. I don't expect a handout or a hug and can find my own work if I get fired. But if you fire me the way these guys did, you will surely never be on my list of good people. May be that does not matter to some.

I guess I wasn't clear.

I find straight, clear professionalism to be "nice", especially when dealing with shitty situations. Usually they're made more shitty by people getting personally emotional over what are, frankly, simply business decisions. A lot of that can be avoided by sticking to the facts and the script, making the inevitable a lot simpler for everybody. It's a matter of showing them adult respect and giving it to them straight.

I don't think they're mutually exclusive at all.

professional = I want to eat you

nice = I want to help you

professional + nice = I want to eat you and help you?

Now that doesn't work at all.

An analogy like that can be used in many ways. Here is my version:

professional = I have to eat you (not want)

nice = I am sorry (being nice is not only about helping)

professional + nice = I have to eat you and I am sorry.

in the art world we call that a "lie"

I am sorry but I have to eat you.

?

I drank your milkshake, ha ha ha.

You say "coldly professional" like it's a good thing.

"Hey guys, so we have some greeeat news!(tm) and some not so great news (sad face)"

I'd rather have it straight quick like shots at the doctors office.

One can avoid outpourings of faux sympathy without treating their email account termination as a higher priority than saying thank you.

An example would be nice.

I'm appalled by your objection to the use of 'appalling'.

My what a contrarian you are.

No I'm not.

Still better than the time we were called into an all hands to find out our entire business unit had been sold, and the VP responsible for the sale joked in front of everybody "hey, I still have a job!"

I can relate to "coldly professional". Up front, succinct - all good. But I can also relate to people who might have spent 10 or more years in the company. Loyal, motivated, emotionally invested. I think they wouldn't actually mind a hug in the end.

I agree with you but Patch was launched in December 2007 so I doubt they have these kind of employees.